Episode 1: Is Love Blind?

Are you falling in love—or falling for the hype?

In this laugh-out-loud and refreshingly honest premiere episode of Andi & Mich, two sisters from two generations ask the question: Is love really blind, or are we just ignoring red flags with rose-colored glasses? 💘👀

We dive into the wildly popular Netflix show Love is Blind, the jaw-dropping British dating experiment Naked Attraction, and a few real-life stories of romantic delusion (we’ve all been there). From first-date icks to soulmate debates, this episode serves up hilarious generational takes, thoughtful relationship insight, and sisterly storytelling with plenty of cafecito-fueled wisdom.

Expect real talk about:

• Dating in a world of apps, filters, and fear of vulnerability 📱
• Why romantic chemistry isn’t always a green flag 🚩
• The difference between love, lust, and emotional substitute teachers
• Whether attraction grows—or fades—over time 💫
• Why learning to date yourself first changes everything 💕

Whether you're single, partnered, or somewhere in between, this episode will make you laugh, think, and maybe rethink your definition of love.

Two Sisters. Two Generations. Lots of Laughs.

If you liked this episode please like and follow our podcast, leave us a comment, and share it with a friend. Your support helps us to keep the conversations going. <3

-Andi and Mich

The Andi and Mich Podcast: Two Sisters, Two Generations, Unique Perspectives, Lots of Laughs

Transcript

0:46

Welcome to the very first episode of Andy and Mitch. Two sisters, two generations, and way too many opinions on love dating and reality tv. And today we're starting strong with a question that's both philosophical and pop culture. Gold is love blind. We'll be talking about the Netflix show. Love is Blind, but also digging into whether real life love can really overcome appearances, red flags, and those first date icks. And can love truly overlook flaws, or did we just rebrand passion as toxic behavior? Let's get into it. The love is Blind effect. So before we get too far into the conversation, I guess we should talk about like what is Love is Blind for listeners that might be unfamiliar with the show. There's a show on Netflix. It's in what season? Eight. How many seasons? Eight seasons. Yes. Of the show. And I, I think I saw the first season, maybe part of the second one, and then I was over it. But Mitch made me watch the most recent season, season eight. Yes. And we got into this whole conversation about relationships and dating in modern day. And is love really blind? And we had some similar and some different opinions about it as we watched the show. And then we also watched another show called Naked Attraction. Which, let's break it down. The two shows are very different. They're the polar opposite of each other, polar opposite. So Love is Blind is a show where you find a match and fall in love And they, they basically have to stay in these pods, right. And form an emotional connection, quote unquote. And then if the connection's strong enough, they agree to marry each other sight unseen. They try to do everything to help them harness that attraction and, and to really form a significant bond before they release them back into the wild of their existing lives. Okay. And then they have to get to the end to decide if they actually do want to go through with it and get married or not? Yes. So that is Love is blind. If you've never seen it, it's on Netflix. Knock Yourself out. We also watched, the British Dating Show Naked Attraction. And she was like, I don't even know what that is. I was like, you have to watch this'cause it's the complete opposite.. You see somebody naked first before you hear their voice and before you even have a conversation with them or go out on a date with them. The person doing the choosing narrows it down to two people. And then once it's down to two people, then they show them their naked body. Yes. And then they pick one and they decide to go on a date clothed. I, I do wanna just also point out that the differentiation is that this is based on a social experiment, which is inspired by evolutionary science where it's believed that in the past, people selected mates based solely on physical appearance because the strongest would produce the best warriors and et cetera, et cetera. And it's kind of cool'cause they do tell you like facts about that. Yes. They do talk to you about like dating facts, biological facts related to how we pick mates and partners and what traits are most desirable versus other traits. And it is kind of interesting to hear that. I was just so surprised to see so many naked parts. But then also it's kind of cool to watch. It just changes the way that you see bodies and the way that you understand attraction it's also kind of interesting to watch, the different cultural expectations of attraction, right? Because it's over the pond, so their expectations of physical attraction is what I would perceive completely different from here in the United States. In watching both shows, I think they're different and you kind of have a different reaction to them. But once you get past the nakedness, you really start to think like, oh, okay, so which one is actually more effective? And which way actually makes more sense. What surprised you most about watching Naked Attraction?'cause you were so, I was so in shock. I was in shock, I really was, I came outta left field with that. Well, because I thought, okay, yeah, they, they're gonna see like some part, no, they show it all full frontal, they show the whole nine. And I think, and that's before they're even allowed to speak. So that was really shocking at first. And then I quickly understood what the premise was. After watching like the first episode, which is two different people going through the process. You kind of get this sense of like, oh, this is weirdly revealing in a different way. Right. Obviously,'cause you're completely nude, but it's a different form of vulnerability. And I think that when they go on the dates, it just changes the game. Mm-hmm. There's no weird pressure like, is this person attracted to me? Am I making the right moves? Am I putting them off? Like there's so many different things that go through people's minds when they're dating. Mm-hmm. And this completely eliminates that. So I think when they go into the dating experience, there's like a natural flow to things So let's go back to, love is Blind for a moment. Yeah. Because this is the big one, right? That like, everybody talks about it, it's been around for a while. It's a very popular dating show. what surprised you most about watching that show? I mean, like, just think, imagine yourself meeting someone through a wall and then deciding to marry no. No way. Absolutely not. and this is not solely saying this from like a, a superficial vein. It's okay. You can say you're superficial.. Um, it, this is not like that. It's just I would never do that because I think love is a combo plate. It's not just one thing or another. And certain personality traits and characteristics and values can make you even more attractive in certain areas yeah. I think there's so many different layers. Number one, no. I'm too old for that. But number two, if I was in my twenties, some of'em are late twenties, Some of them are at like in their late, oh, some of them are. Okay, well nevermind. Sorry, I'm not trying to judge you. You know what I'm saying? But personally, I just, it wouldn't be for me. I like the idea that they're trying to get at where you wanna get to know as much as you can about somebody before. without the other pressures on. So you really get to know the person. But in reality, I think there's so many layers to a relationship and finding a partnership that actually works, that it's not just a one size fits all kind of deal. You have to take into account all of the factors. Yeah. That make a good relationship. And so, no, I need to see your credit score, see what you look like. I need to know who your people are. I need to know what kind of trauma you're coming with with your family. And what they're all about. You know what I mean? And I need to see how you live. You have to say, is your mattress on the floor? That's a thing. Okay. So with all of that, yeah. Do we believe that love is actually blind? Initially it can feel like it's blind. But if you want a long lasting relationship that is built on actual love, then the answer is no. No, you're saying no I'm saying initially it could feel like you're capable of falling in love It can feel really exciting and it's more passion driven than it is actually love driven. I think loving someone despite X, Y, and Z. Not loving someone because what they bring to the plate. Do you get what I'm saying? Kind of. So my answer's no. So the answer is no. Let's be clear. The millennial thinks love can be blind, but long term you gotta have your eyes wide open. Yes. Okay. I don't think love is blind at all. I, I just like, Nope, not a thing. I think if you go into a relationship believing that love is blind you're definitely headed for doom and destruction and lots of therapy.'cause you're setting yourself up for failure, and you're probably moving through this relationship with false expectations. I can't say, yes, I'm gonna marry someone Sight unseen. didn't even buy a house. sight unseen or adopt a dog, you know what I mean? Like, I need to see the dog. I need to like, do we connect? Is there an energetic bond? Okay, I get what you're saying. So some, some element of superficiality exists in everyone, is what you're saying? Yeah, of course. Okay, cool. I think negative attraction, prove that. Right? It's evolution. I think both can exist, but it depends on how, oh man, I was about to say delusional, but I didn't where they overtly romanticize things? Yeah. In a romanticized world. Yeah. In idealism. Mm-hmm. It can exist. In actuality when you, when the cards are on the table and you're playing your hand, it doesn't always work out. Now, I'm not gonna say it doesn't work out for everybody cause that's a pretty jaded way to look at things. And I also think there are some lucky individuals who truly believe that love is blind, and that's how their story worked out, and it's really beautiful but that's not the majority. I also think about love is blind. If we go deeper with it. Maybe you meet someone in person. Yeah. But is love blind in the sense that you're willing to overlook red flags because you're really into them. Yeah. Like, have you ever done that? Have you ever overlooked somebody's red flags? I laugh because, is this even a question? Like, who hasn't? Right? Like, raise your hand if you haven't. I didn't even just overlook them. I held the flags for them. You decorated the flags. No, for real. Yeah. And I agree. I think that some of those old adages, like love is blind, it's very easy to confuse the idealism behind love is blind as just don't notice their flaws. Because if you do, you're gonna be an inconvenience or you're gonna make it uncomfortable or, you are going to accept, less than in the pursuit of love. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think when you're young too. Which also, it's kind of surprising that some of these contestants are older that go on these shows, because I think when you're young, when you're in your twenties, the idea of like what attraction is, looks different than when you're in your thirties, forties plus, right? Because when you're young, you just don't really know who you are, fully what you want and, and I'll say even older, right? Like some of us are still myself included, figuring out like, who are we? Who am I? What do I want? In life now as a woman in her forties, but I can look back at my 20-year-old self and look at what was I attracted to then. And mind you, I'm taken. I've been in a relationship for 24 years. Love you, boo. I wanna just add something in there really quickly, is that these shows, although they're very, very like elaborate versions of, they are reminiscent of today's modern dating world. Like the concept that love is blind, feels so far fetched, but in reality, that's how people are meeting via apps. Mm-hmm. I mean, yeah, you are seeing them, but you're seeing visual representations of them that may or may not be skewed. May or may not be actual. So many of my friends tell me that they match with somebody, the moment where he shows up and then they're like, well my God, this is all a lie. True. Because technology plays a big part in it. Like I was talking to some of my younger colleagues. And they asked me like, how did I meet my partner? And I'm like, listen, I'm old. We didn't have all this stuff. We met at a doctor's office in real life. Yeah. And in real life, like most of the people I dated when I was younger, I met through somebody or just doing normal everyday things. I think that's the beauty of being millennials. So you entered into the dating world with that. But you also had MySpace and Facebook happening at the same time, so you were also able to reach people in Ireland, you know? Right. And you weren't expanded the dating pool but it also expanded the expectations. I'm gonna throw another show in the mix. I really like, I was watching with mom. The Muslim matchmaker. Of those two ladies, they're amazing and really fun to watch. They're so funny. But I like their approach too, because they're all about in-person, right? Mm-hmm. So they're connecting people based on common interests and what they think they're looking for. But they give them a script. So they have to have so many number of dates before they decide that the person is not a good match for them. Because I think they're really touching on this idea that you have to push past the superficial stuff that people put out to get to know someone on this deeper level, which takes time. And then they give them like all of these questions that are pretty deep, pretty fast, so that you can get to know if there's a real connection there. Either way, because I think you could look at someone and say they're kind of cool, but maybe I'm not as physically attracted to them. But then you go through this process and get to know the deeper part, and that attraction can grow. Or you see someone and you're like, man, you're super fine, you know, you're really hot. Like, I don't even care how you keep your sock drawer. But I was, wait, but then you talked to, to them and you're like, no, not so much. Yeah. But when they're really hot like that, like let's be real, like how many of us actually keep it together? That's the part that's kind of funny to me is that like, yeah, I mean, some people do keep it together. They're super smooth and they're highly confident people. They're just out there like in it to win it. They're just constantly dunking. I'm gonna keep using metaphors that make no sense to most of you. Um, welcome to your thirties. Let's get more into the psychology behind this. I think we mentioned earlier that like, can love make us overlook flaws when we think about rose colored glasses? I've excused so many things. Just so many things. I think the rose colored glasses to me. I know, I can see the flag, I can see the flaw, I can see the, the, the characteristic that maybe I'm not really connecting that well to, and I'm very aware of it, but because of other factors I'm choosing to kind of like, oh, I'm just gonna put a pin in that. The perks outweigh the the flaws. I dunno if that's love though. That's the thing. It's not love. Yeah. I think that's like substitution, that's just dub a new word in there. Uh, that's, it's a substitute, like a substitute teacher. Like they're okay. They're not it. I think that's the other thing that gets me too, especially in all these conversations and watching these shows is everybody's talking about love, love, love. But I'm like, is it love though? Like. Maybe one or two people. I could see were showing signs of actual love for each other, but most of it was just attraction, connection. There's just like this energy between people. Yes. To go back to what I said about the dating apps and the way that modern society kind of looks at establishing connection, how it's kind of like an Amazon shop mm-hmm. Today's dating pool and these younger generations have told me that you can't just go up to somebody at the supermarket and talk to them because then you're gonna be considered a psychopath. Yeah. That's crazy. Not even, not even in a mean way. When people stop me and they're like, I totally know you from X, Y, and z, I instantly just ah, and my body has a reaction, I'm in danger. You know? I'm not in danger at all. They're just, Hey, it's you. You know, proceeds to run out of the store without your basket. That is just a biological reaction that happens now. Yeah. We're very instilled to have fear instead of, this natural, oh, let's have a conversation and talk and I will say this as a woman, I don't think it's the same for men. I might be wrong. Anxiety is, is. Reaching all of us at this point. Yeah. I mean obviously we're giving our perspectives from our side. Yeah. We can only speak to our experiences. Very true. So that leads us to our next question. What's the societal influence? Do societal expectations make us blind to reality in relationships? What do you think? I mean, I think we're raised on rom-coms, and of course we think love should be dramatic. Yeah. And there's also this sold concept that we should win over the emotionally unavailable that should be the goal. As you're talking about this, I'm thinking about that movie. He's just not that into you. Yes. And they talk about how, cause she's. The, the main character, I don't know what her name is, but she's trying to date and get out there and meet someone. And so she, but she's kind of a little needy about it. So she gets really into the real estate agent who's into the other character. that Gigi Phillips. Yes. Yeah. Gigi. And then, um, the real estate agent's really into this other girl who's beautiful, but she's really into this other guy who's totally unavailable and married. And it talks about like the complexities in that and how. We believe these stories that we're told about how, you know, love is so romantic and it doesn't matter and it will test you. And, if he mistreats you, it's'cause he likes you. It's because he likes you. Like if you're a little kid and the person you like pushes you at the playground that means they like you. Like it's already ingrained in your head, very early on. And that also, if it's meant to be, it will happen. You know, all the bullshit that we're told. You know, I, wait, can I, can I just make a note? I think it's really funny that you are like, so like no love, love is not blind and that's bullshit. But you had the most meet cute. I did. Yeah. But I still agreed. Listen, I met my love and it was not blind. It was not blind. It was not blind. I also wanna say in watching Naked Attraction, one of the things that I noticed was that, again, from a solely. Superficial standpoint, if you were to pick out the best quote unquote looking people, you would be surprised at the level of chemistry that exists within the act of attraction in general. Like good looking person with good looking person. Not always. Sometimes you think that they're gonna go fully superficial. Like there was this one guy on negative attraction, very good looking guy, and when he was picking between the two women that he was at the very end with, they were completely opposite of one opposite. Yeah. And he was talking about why he was potentially gonna choose one or the other. And one of the things he said was, I also hate my calves. And she said she hates her calves too. So it was this really interesting thing he found the beauty in the thing that he also disliked about himself in her. Well, when I think about superficiality, it's like very narrow minded. It's like the concept of They want women that look like they're from magazines. But in reality I was like, oh, this is kind of interesting. It's an interesting concept of, physical attraction because the way that we see other people is oftentimes, the way that we also view parts of ourselves. He connected with that. That they had something in common.. He felt very vulnerable about.. She also shared the same vulnerability, so there was a spark, right? Yeah. There with that connection that maybe he felt he couldn't maybe connect on a deeper level to the other one because he didn't find a, spark of vulnerability there. She was a model.. But does that make it more real then, if, if you're going that way, if you're starting purely physical, like naked attraction does that make the dating process and finding love in a connection more real than going the other way? In Love is blind, okay, so this is gonna be the controversial bit I think that a lot of times superficiality gets a bad rap, and to be fair, it is pretty ugly what lives within the realm of superficiality and how people use the term, right? And use the understanding of the definition. I wanna say that. From what I've seen in these two shows, three shows since we're talking about the lovely matchmakers mm-hmm. Who are fantastic. And if you never checked out that show, you should definitely check out that show because they make really good points about connection. And how to build lasting relationships with people. Based on all the information that I've acquired from watching these shows and from my educational background there's an element of truth in the superficial component that is required to exist in a relational bond. Okay? And it doesn't always mean that the person is superficial, but it does mean that there is a true connection that they are finding within the person's physical body. Mm-hmm. It doesn't mean that they look like a model. Mm-hmm. Right. It just means that something in the way that they present themselves is incredibly physically attractive, and so therefore there's a little bit more of a foundation for an honest component to the potential of it becoming a real relationship. Mm-hmm. Can you get that from an Instagram picture? Can you get that from a dating app picture? No. Yeah. No. I mean, it's real if you're naked. Yeah. You've never met these people before. Yeah. The other element of naked, uh, naked and afraid different shows attraction. Element of Naked and Afraid exists in Naked attraction for sure. I think, in negative attraction. The other element is that they are in person. So they're naked and they're in person. And you can see them you're like sharing the same energetic space with them. And so while there is this really cool element of love is blind, where it's kind of emotional vulnerability, uh, cloak one might say, um, because it removes the pressures of the physical attraction. I think the only thing that it really does allow for is open-mindedness, right? Because you're not gonna completely ignore the fact that you could potentially build a relationship with someone based on the fact that they're five four, right? Yes. So I think that's the one thing that love is blind adds. But also negative attraction has it as well, because, oh, this is the, the kicker, they reveal parts of their body in segments. Mm-hmm. So the first part that you see is their feet, their calves, their genitals, and then it goes up to their stomach and their shoulders, which, let me just say shoulder game. Real thing. Real thing. Real thing. More important than some of the other features. Like way more important than some features changes the whole landscape. Okay. You thought you were in Antartica, you're in Arizona. It's like desert. Like it also, interestingly enough, when you see the shoulders, it projects a certain level of confidence that the rest of the body doesn't, and you can see the, yeah. That the rest of the body doesn't. Because of the way that they're standing. So they're reading the body language of somebody. Crazy. And it did change'cause changes everything. Some of the people who maybe would be considered stereotypically more attractive that didn't have a good shoulder layout or posture dance or posture kind of fell down the list very quickly. You quickly opposed like to some of the other ones who carried themselves with more confidence. And then there's some people that are completely chiseled. They look like they just walk straight out of a TV ad for a underwear brand and then you see their face and you're like, what? Yeah. That's also interesting layer too. Yeah. Because you're going reverse, so you're seeing them naked. And then you see how they, present themselves to the world. Yeah. With their dress. And honestly, some of those really threw me off because I was like, wow, if I saw you in the world dress like that, I would not be attracted to you. Yeah. 100%.'cause it says something about your personality, it really changed. I was like layer upon layer upon layer upon layer. It really does, it changes everything. It changes everything. I mean, obviously I think it's a given mm-hmm. Naked attraction type show, starting that way much more physical and then trying to build from there Is more terrifying way to try and connect with somebody in some ways. Absolutely. Because it's very vulnerable. Like, it's like your, your deepest fears and dislikes about yourself usually live in the body. And, that's crazy, to just like put it all out there like that. And some people like, kudos to you, man, to have that level of comfort, confidence, and comfort in yourself. Maybe someday I will have that. It's more terrifying to me because in Love is Blind. There is security in the fact that they're in pods and there's a wall between them and they can leave after the conversation. Right. Like there's, it's still very guarded. It's a very guarded process. I also think too, there's a level of comfort that exists in Love is Blind that allows for dishonesty to be really prevalent. And although the other one is jarring Naked Attraction, it doesn't allow for that to exist in the first couple minutes because body language is. A primary way, how we communicate as human beings. So again, how you stand is a huge thing. When you see somebody, how your eyes look at them. I mean, we talk in layers, right?. Not just with the words that we speak. Mm-hmm. And I think the problematic element, and could also be seen as the most interesting factor of love is blind because of all the los dramas, is that, you could mislead people, you could sell them, a good that you never had in stock. You could be a fake. Mm-hmm. You could be a fake. Yeah, part of our conversation with it is like the psychology behind it. Do people use this idea of love is blind or wearing rose colored glasses, to cover up insecurities? And it, and eventually leading people to settle for less than what they know they deserve because they're overlooking, but they're like, oh, well it's romanticized based on how I was raised. It's, this is an expectation of me and society and I'm already 27 and I may never find somebody. Yeah, there's a, so now I'm just gonna overlook everything to check a box. When we think about even some of these contestants that go on these shows, it's like, is it that they're just looking for something fun? Is it that they're feeling really insecure in the real dating world. It's like so rushed to like get married. Or is it that they feel so lonely because the world today is full of lonely people? In general, the amount of time and availability that we have as individuals, as we progress into adulthood changes. And I think that has a really high impact on your availability to meet organically. When I was in my twenties, I was fortunate enough to be at that cusp where things were just starting to change a KAI had a very normal at that time, adolescent to young adulthood. So we were going out, we were having fun, we would meet up. It was much easier to meet people organically and to kind of meet a plethora of people. So that you actually had an option in terms of selections. And you're not just dating, you know, friends.'cause that's a big no-no in my book. Yeah, so I think in general, because society has changed and now the way that dating has changed to accommodate how society has changed, it has eliminated a lot of the, beautiful aspects of getting to know people. There's a timeliness to it that didn't exist before. Like a pressure. Yeah. And it makes it so almost like a revolving door. Like they just wanna get through it. Show me in the next 60 seconds that you're someone impressive enough for me to give you a week of my life. Mm-hmm. And I think that perspective and that pressure, it takes away from the experience of actually getting to know people. Without an expectation that you're gonna get something out of it for the first week to two weeks. Yeah. You watch the shows and you're like, man, that person has got problems. Or that person's toxic. Yeah. But it's like, there's these parts of us that we're responsible to work on, because if, if you don't feel whole, and if you're making decisions from a place of like, oh, I'm so lonely and I have to hurry up. Find a partner so that I can check a box because these are the expectations and I'm just gonna pick quickly without giving it time, then. That's on you. Because you're gonna force something to work and you are gonna keep those rose colored glasses on for a much longer period. Like this idea of your honeymoon phase with somebody Can extend because you wanna force it Square peg, round hole. You're not being accountable for your decisions and you know, wasted energy and time. I agree with that wholeheartedly. I would say to anybody dating, even people our age, older than us. I think, you know, depending on the reason behind it and where they are in their own self-work, it's like date yourself first. Yeah. Like if you're 20, in your twenties, if you're in your fifties and you're trying to get out there and meet somebody, you need to know more about who you are and what you're looking for. And the only way you can figure that out is to date yourself first. Like you need to be your first true love so that then you can find a partner who's not like someone you're trying to use to fill a gap in your life, but they compliment you is full and they compliment you. And you're, you're walking side by side.. And you're lifting each other up. When you're coming from that place, you can find. Beautiful relationships, and it might be more than one. I don't know your life, I don't know what you want, but you know what I'm saying, like, you're open to better experiences in the dating world and finding love and finding real connection. Versus coming at it from this other place of sadness. Um, which the sadness. I just imagine the actual emotion from that one movie. Inside out. Inside out yeah. Sadness. Come on. Sadness. Like, uh, nobody loves me. Right. And so now the second you get any kind of response or someone's interested in you, you latch on and now you've got this like, love is blind thing happening. You don't wanna pick someone from a place of deprivation. Yeah. Right. You don't wanna pick someone from a place where you feel lack.'cause then you really are gonna choose, the worst case scenario is gonna be the best case scenario for you. Because you're gonna see it and you're gonna go, well, I got something there where there was nothing. And that feels better than nothing. Yeah. Because when you don't feel whole, anyone feels like a missing piece. So we talked a lot about this and I feel like we could talk about this for days on end. Because it's not a simple topic, it's very complicated. And it also depends on the players, right? Like who's involved. But sometimes, sure, for some people, love can be blind. I'm not one of them. And hopefully eventually the lights come on, if you go in that way and your rose colored glasses come off. But I encourage people to just go in with your eyes wide open. And hopefully you'll like what you see, or at least have enough self-love to walk away when you don't. But the truth is, we all wanna be seen and loved. That's real. Flaws and all, just maybe not through a wall on a reality TV show. No shade unless it's a wall with cafecito on the other side, then we'll think about it. All right, everyone. Thanks for joining us on our first official episode. If you loved it or you just wanna debate whether love is truly blind, leave us a review, follow the pod, and share with your favorite chismosa friend. We'll be back next episode with even more laughter, live talk, and sisterly nonsense. Bye bye.